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Divorce Rich with Jacki Roessler, CDFA
Welcome to the Divorce Rich Podcast! Join your host, highly sought-after speaker and experienced Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Jacki Roessler, CDFA in this engaging and down to earth show. Along with her guests, Jacki offers clear and detailed advice to improve your financial decisions before, during and after divorce so you can survive divorce rich! New episodes are posted every Thursday! You can reach Jacki through her Michigan-based firm, Roessler Divorce Consulting, located at 600 S. Adams, Suite 300, Birmingham, MI 48009 or by email at jacqueline@roesslerdivorce.com.
Divorce Rich with Jacki Roessler, CDFA
The Right Attorney Can Change EVERYTHING-How to Choose Yours with Family Law Attorney Kelsey Minor
Choosing the right divorce attorney is the most crucial decision you can make during this life transition, with geographic expertise and family law specialization being top priorities. Managing partner Kelsey Minor from DAWN (Divorce Attorneys for Women's Needs) shares her insights on finding representation that provides both legal expertise and emotional support.
• Hire an attorney experienced in your specific county as local court procedures vary significantly between judges
• Look for family law specialists who understand both legal complexities and emotional dynamics
• Good attorneys provide clear process timelines and connect you with specialized resources when needed
• Ask potential attorneys about their communication style, response times, and availability for meetings
- To schedule an appointment with attorney Kelsey Minor, click the link below https://womensrights.com/law-firm/our-lawyers-staff/ or call her at 888-772-DAWN.
- To schedule an initial 30-minute consult with Jacki, use the link below: https://calendly.com/roessler-jacki/30min?month=2025-06
Visit us at https://www.roesslerdivorce.com/ to learn more about Jacki's practice and to find valuable resources for your case.
The Divorce Rich podcast is proudly sponsored by Center for Financial Planning: Striving to Improve Lives through Financial Planning Done Right! https://www.centerfinplan.com/
Welcome to the Divorce Rich Podcast. I'm your host, jackie Ressler. I've been a certified divorce financial analyst for 28 years, helping clients and their attorneys navigate the often complex and confusing financial issues in divorce. If you're in the process of, or considering, divorce, now is the time for you to take a deep breath and give yourself permission to find clarity on the financial issues you're facing.
Speaker 2:Rich means many things to many people, I believe, the best definition of being rich is someone who has access to many resources.
Speaker 1:Along with my guests on this podcast, I will be bringing you a wide variety of information so that you can make sound and informed financial decisions for your financial future.
Speaker 2:Hey, if you're recently divorced or still in the middle of it, you already know that life can feel like it's been turned upside down and, let's be honest, the financial part it's overwhelming, confusing and often the last thing you want to deal with. That's why I want to tell you about the Independent Wealth Management Team at Center for Financial Planning. Their team of certified you want to deal with. That's why I want to tell you about the independent wealth management team at Center for Financial Planning. Their team of certified financial planners specializes in helping people just like you navigate life changes with confidence. Whether it's assessing your new financial circumstances, creating or updating your retirement plan or helping you adjust to the new normal, they'll work with you to get a clear, customized plan to feel in control and move forward with confidence. So if you're interested in working with a financial planner who you can trust to have your best interests in mind and you're ready to take the next step, visit centerfinplancom that's centerfinplancom and schedule a conversation. Center for Financial Planning live your plan. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services Inc. Member FINRA, sipc. Investment advisory services offered through Center for Financial Planning Inc. Center for Financial Planning Inc. Is not a registered broker-dealer and is independent of Raymond James Financial Services.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone and welcome back to the Divorce Rich Podcast. Today we have a really important topic that we're going to cover because I find that when I go out and I do any speaking, or even talking to people in general in my personal life, the first question that they ask is always how do I pick an attorney? So I am really lucky to have as my guest today Kelsey Miner, who is a managing partner at Dawn, which is the Divorce Attorneys for Women's Needs, based in Bingham Farms, michigan. They've been representing women's needs for 33 years and she's a fantastic lawyer, a perfect person to ask these questions because she has so much experience. So welcome, kelsey.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for having me. I love your podcast and I am happy to be here. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm really grateful to have the benefit of your time. So thank you. I always tell clients when sometimes people reach out to me before they have their attorney and they will find me on the Internet or from a friend or a a therapist. Those are all things that are important, but the most important is that you find a good attorney. So when someone is interviewing an attorney, what kinds of things should they be asking? What sorts of questions for, if they're going through a divorce, should they have on their list?
Speaker 3:So choosing an attorney is a big decision and one that should involve some research, so it's absolutely important to have a list prepared to ask an attorney. So, first off, it's important to choose an attorney that has experience in the area of law that you're needing services for. It's also really important to have an attorney that is practiced in the particular geographic area that your case is in. So, for instance, if you have a divorce case in Oakland County, it's really important to hire an attorney that has experience having cases in Oakland County, has been in front of the judges, the referees and, you know, had multiple trials. You know evidentiary hearings, regular motion hearings in front of the court.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's say that someone and again, I think, with the world becoming more virtual since the pandemic, that a lot of people feel like they don't need to have an attorney who practices in the county, and I absolutely agree with you. I think that geographically and we have listeners all over the country, and I do believe this is true wherever you live what's the benefit of being in front of a judge that you've seen before and you've been in front of, versus one that you've never been in front of them and they've never seen you in action?
Speaker 3:So it's important to know your judge or referee, because they approach issues differently, have different views on how a motion should be filed, what should be included in the motion, and also the local court rules or or even the particular protocol for one judge's courtroom can be different by county, or even in one courthouse.
Speaker 3:Different judges have different procedures or protocols for filing documents, scheduling hearings Wow. Filing documents, scheduling hearings Wow. So it is sometimes difficult to be an attorney in a county that you haven't previously practiced, because there are counties where the protocol for the court isn't even listed on their website and it, you know. In order to find out the right protocol for you know, filing a motion, who you send it to, if it's by e-filing or if the county even has e-filing, that's something that you have to try to inquire, you know, at the courthouse, try to talk to the courtroom, you know, maybe the judicial attorney or the clerk, to find out how do I file this motion, how do I get a date or even the pro-con hearing to finalize a divorce, different judges and, for instance, in Oakland County, there are different protocols for scheduling the hearing based on who the know, who the judge is.
Speaker 2:Wow, and so would a client potentially pay more money in legal fees to have it to pay for that attorney.
Speaker 3:to get up to speed, Unfortunately, that could be a possibility. Yes, wow.
Speaker 2:I never think about that aspect. I'm dealing with the client in the attorney's office in my office, going to mediation. I don't really see that courtroom procedure part of your job. That's an interesting point to bring up.
Speaker 3:And I do want to say that some judges have different protocols for cases where there is an attorney versus not having an attorney scheduling conference, where the protocol online specifies if it's on Zoom with the referee or if it's with the judge in person. So it's really important to pay attention to that or have an attorney that knows that, because there are times when I come across attorneys that just aren't sure because the protocol, you know, varies even between you know judges in a courthouse and for that I'm referring mainly you know McComb, the judges in the bail division in McComb. You know you really have to check the protocol and sometimes the Zoom IDs are listed on there. You know it's really. It's also really important to make sure that you have the Zoom information before hearing, not the morning, you know, the morning of trying to find that information.
Speaker 2:Wow. So your job is so multifaceted, as we're talking and I'm thinking. So you've got all of this kind of procedural part that you need to be familiar with for general practice. But then when we get into the details of family law and this is another big mistake that I think a lot of clients make you know they got a referral of an attorney from their family member or it's someone that they know personally, but they don't actually practice family law. How can that be a detriment to a client to have an attorney that doesn't specialize in family law?
Speaker 3:Well, first off, I want to say that it's very important to have an attorney that understands the particular area of law, but also to have an attorney that makes the client feel emotionally supported and comfortable throughout the process. I think it's really important for clients to feel as if they're able to raise their concerns with their attorney, and I find that a lot of people I speak to hire an attorney but they don't end up feeling comfortable with that particular attorney and they don't feel as if they're supported and guided through the process. So a family law attorney will know the particular process and steps in the case and be able to lay out a timeline so that the client understands what the next step in the process is, how the matter is generally proceeding in terms of how the case starts, the financial inquiry and then potentially, mediation, any motion hearings, any particular hearings based on what the county is. That's all really important because oftentimes I find when a client is starting the divorce, it's really daunting, really overwhelming, and it helps to have an attorney who says, okay, we're going to get you through this.
Speaker 3:These are the steps, this is what the law provides for. These are the reasonable expectations. I will answer questions about the law, but I'm also here to listen without judgment, and provide emotional support, but also resources. So for me personally, it's really important to provide my clients with resources and I know, jackie I've listened to your podcast quite a bit and your definition of being rich is power and information is key. So I have resources for CD and provide you know, guidance and direction.
Speaker 2:And I think that you bring up a really important point is that someone who doesn't specialize in family law doesn't have that background, maybe an understanding that there might need to be other experts that are called in, and also that these kinds of clients that are going through an emotional trauma which, even if you're the one that wants the divorce, it's still a traumatic, life-changing experience it's the largest financial transaction that most people have in their lifetime that needs that kind of a situation, needs an extra emotional support, like you're saying. How would you recommend, if somebody is interviewing, let's say, several different possibilities, are there certain questions that they can ask or feel that they can get in the meeting where they might be able to see hey, is this person going to be able to support me emotionally or are they not going to be what I need in that area?
Speaker 3:So I think it's important to ask what the attorney's availability is in terms of being responsive to emails, phone calls, availability for in-person meetings, zoom meetings. I know that I have more clients who are wanting to meet in person, with that face-to-face interaction. I know it's not always possible People have busy schedules but I think it is very helpful to come meet your attorney in person and really get a feel for their empathy and their compassion towards your case. You want someone who really cares and wants to make a difference and, you know, set you up for the future financially, emotionally and cares about you, your children. And I also think it's important to ask the attorney how they feel in terms of mediation and resolving the case, if it's possible and it's a good option for you, because I do find that sometimes attorneys litigate just to litigate, when that's not what the client wants.
Speaker 3:So if you want to have an attorney who is going to try to resolve the case, if it's a fair and equitable property division and it's a custody and parenting time agreement that's in the best interest of your children, then I do believe that that is generally a better option emotionally and financially than violence, unnecessary motions and having a two-day trial, which a lot of times a trial. You have to bill for that day. But there's so much preparation that goes into the trial that it can be very costly and it can be unnecessary if the issues can be worked through outside of the courtroom. So it's really important to make sure that your attorney's willing to. So it's really important to make sure that your attorney is willing to mediate and engage in resolution and not just. You don't want someone that's just going to jump and file a motion immediately if that's not what you want.
Speaker 2:They are not getting there, so they've already hired an attorney. They're not getting their phone calls returned, they don't understand where they're at in the process and they find that there are a lot of motions being filed and they're just kind of, in general, unhappy. What would you recommend that someone in that situation to?
Speaker 3:So I would recommend emailing the attorney and voicing your concerns. If the attorney is not able to respond back and provide really a game plan of how to move forward that helps resolve the concerns, then I think it may be best for the client to consider looking at other counsel, as long as it doesn't jeopardize the case. So, for instance, if you have a trial in three weeks and your attorney's already prepared for it and knows the case, it might not be the best option to switch attorneys at that time, but if it's early in the process, it's really important to have an attorney that you feel is responsive to your needs. So, yeah, I would encourage a client to look for other counsel if they're not feeling heard or supported in their case.
Speaker 2:Right. I think it's important for clients to trust their instincts. Clients might have unreasonable expectations. I've had clients before that say that they called their attorney on the weekend and they don't hear back and you know everything is an emergency when they call. Well, they need to adjust their expectations maybe.
Speaker 2:But if you really feel like you are not being heard or listened to and you don't understand what's going on and you repeatedly try to reach out, I think people are hesitant to even get a second opinion. But I always recommend go and talk to a few other attorneys and tell them what your situation is, because a good attorney isn't going to tell you just oh yeah, let's just switch. A good attorney will give you a reasonable analysis of whether or not they think the current attorney is doing a good job on track. That's been my experience anyway, that when clients get a second opinion but oftentimes people stick with an attorney that they know if the relationship is not working and they continue. And sometimes it's even a similar relationship to the one that they have with their spouse, where there is not a toxic relationship but a relationship that just isn't working out for them.
Speaker 2:And again, it's so important to realize that you only have one shot really at your property settlement, Like you can't ever go back and say, oh so you know, I made a mistake, I asked for the house but I can't afford it.
Speaker 2:Can we redo this Once that's done? It's done and so you have to make sure that your attorney, like you said, is going to provide resources. If your attorney can't help you answer that question whether or not you can afford to keep the house can they refer you to somebody who can help answer that question? I think that is again so important in working with a good attorney is the kind of listening to what the client's needs are and, like you said, trying to find a way or a resource. You can't be all things for every client. The family law attorney job is such a big job with so many different, really specialized responsibilities that you also can't expect that your attorney is an expert on pension plans and the tax code and you know all of these things as well. But being able to offer resources again, I think, is an indication of an attorney that's working really hard for you, of an attorney that's working really hard for you.
Speaker 1:We all agree divorce is emotional, but your financial decisions shouldn't be. I'm Jackie Ressler, certified Divorce Financial Analyst. On this podcast I help you make smart, informed choices about money during divorce.
Speaker 2:So you can move forward with clarity and confidence, not sure where to start, let's talk. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation with me to see if divorce financial planning is the right fit for you At the end of this episode.
Speaker 1:You can check on my show notes.
Speaker 2:There's a link for you to sign up for a free 30-minute consultation because financial peace of mind is possible. Consultation because financial peace of mind is possible. Do you think it matters to have an attorney who is well-respected?
Speaker 3:in the legal community. I think that it is important because when an attorney is appearing before a judge or a referee who knows that attorney's reputation, that can go a long way. So, for instance, an attorney who files a motion and there are allegations in the motion, it's important when an attorney who's respected has their name behind it. You don't want to have that attorney who files an emergency motion every single time and it's not an emergency, or who is filing a motion with statements that aren't supported, and that's something that the judicial attorneys, the judges, they do notice attorneys, the judges, they do know this and I know you're really involved with different bar associations.
Speaker 2:You're on the board of the Wayne County Family Law and I'm going to pronounce I'm going to get the initials wrong but you're on the board of the Wayne County Family Bar Association and I think clients sometimes are put off a little bit when they, when you go to mediation and it seems like your attorney knows the other attorney and they're friendly. But I always tell my clients that's a really good thing. Like you, want your attorney to have good rapport and be involved in bar associations and educate themselves on different topics and get to know other attorneys, because that will make them a more effective communicator with that other attorney, whereas going in with somebody that is generally disliked, intermediation is not usually in the client's best interest.
Speaker 3:I absolutely agree. Having good rapport with other attorneys is very important. When communication breaks down, that's not good for the client. So, for instance, if one attorney is not being responsive to emails or responding in a certain way, that is harsh and is not able to really discuss or work through solving issues, that can make a big difference in the case.
Speaker 2:I agree, I agree 100%, and it also can make a big difference in terms of the client's fees. Oh yeah, it's good for your attorney to know the other attorneys even so that they know and can tell you well, this is what we're up against with this situation. This attorney could be pretty aggressive. So I just want to let you know again having someone that's really experienced in family law in the geographic area that you're getting divorced is again the most important thing that a client can do.
Speaker 3:I absolutely agree and I do always try to provide my clients with some sort of expectation regarding the opposing attorney and whether I think that the case will be more litigious or potentially drawn out because of who the other attorney is.
Speaker 2:Right, we're talking really about people that are worried about filing in the stage before they file for divorce, before they get an attorney. Are there any common myths that people have that are worries in their mind that you hear from clients when they interview you that you could share with our listeners, that maybe you could bust those myths?
Speaker 3:is to move out of the marital home. You know, prior to or during the divorce, if they're going to lose any right that they have to the home. So that's something that people are really, really concerned and it's not. It's not true. That is a myth. You're not going to be waiving your interest in the home or your right to receive equity from the home or sale proceeds if it's sold. If you're living elsewhere during the divorce, there are times where it's very contentious and it's not good for people to live together during the divorce.
Speaker 2:That's a great one, Thank you. Yeah, I hear that question all the time. Another last big question that I have for you is that clients will sometimes say to me that what if my spouse refuses to give me a divorce?
Speaker 3:Is that possible? Participate at all, then that's when the attorney will advise on filing a default, and then the judgment of divorce would be entered without the defendant's participation.
Speaker 2:Okay, so there is no worry. In Michigan you don't have to prove fault. You don't have to prove anything, you just have to file for divorce and get that going.
Speaker 3:Correct. You just have to allege to the court that there's been a breakdown of the marriage, that it can't be repaired and that you want a divorce, and that you've resided in the state of Michigan for at least six months and the county in which you filed a complaint for at least 10 days. Wow, that's it huh, mm-hmm days.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's it. Huh. Those are situations where you have to have an attorney. I mean that DIY, I'm going to take care of it myself. Divorce is so scary to me because clients don't know what they don't know. One word wrong in the final judgment can have reverberating financial impacts down the road. So I think that in those situations still, even if the other person isn't participating especially make sure that you have a good attorney.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and I have seen very frequently, unfortunately, people who come to me and say I didn't have an attorney, I know I should have had one. This is the judgment say I didn't have an attorney, I know I should have had one, this is the judgment. What can I do now? And it's difficult to see that and say there's a lot I would have done differently here, but I wasn't involved, so I'm very sorry.
Speaker 2:Right. Well, I think that is a good, scary but hopeful note to end on. Thank you so much for your time, kelsey. I have to have you back again to have another conversation. You are so calm and organized and in charge. Just talking to you, I feel like people are. If they reach out to you, they're in good hands. So we'll make sure that we have your contact information in the show notes and again, thank you so much for your time today.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me Take care.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to listen to Divorce Rich Podcast. If you like this podcast, please follow us on Apple or anywhere that you download podcasts and share this link with any friends or family that you think might benefit from this information.
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