Divorce Rich with Jacki Roessler, CDFA

Money Panic After Divorce? Let’s Unpanic with Coach Angela Cipriano

• Jacqueline Roessler, CDFA • Season 2 • Episode 8

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The moment the decree is signed, real life begins. We walk through the first months of financial independence after a divorce and show how small, steady actions create relief fast. Our guest, Angela Cipriano, a financial coach who rebuilt her own life post-divorce, explains how to move from overwhelm to ownership with checklists, simple systems, and a mindset that actually sticks.

We start by demystifying the roles: a financial coach handles what most advisors skip—beneficiary updates, utility transfers, passwords, bill flow, and day-to-day budgeting—so you can arrive at your planner’s office organized and confident. 

We also tackle the emotional side of money. If you’ve heard “you’re bad with money,” we show how to replace that script with data and small wins. Then we get tactical: why your emergency fund belongs in a high-yield savings account, how to sanity-check a 401(k) allocation, and where to look for signs of hidden accounts using pay stubs, bank statements, and tax schedules. In our mailbag, we answer two big questions: who pays old medical bills after the divorce, and can a “vibes-only” budget work? Spoiler: numbers give you choices, and your decree often decides the bills.


Visit us at https://www.roesslerdivorce.com/ to learn more about Jacki's practice and to find valuable resources for your case.

The Divorce Rich podcast is proudly sponsored by Center for Financial Planning: Striving to Improve Lives through Financial Planning Done Right! https://www.centerfinplan.com/

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to the Divorce Rich Podcast. I'm your host, Jackie Ressler.

SPEAKER_03:

I've been a certified divorce financial analyst for 28 years, helping clients and their attorneys navigate the often complex and confusing financial issues in divorce. If you're in the process of or considering divorce, now is the time for you to take a deep breath and give yourself permission to find clarity on the financial issues you're facing. Rich means many things to many people. I believe the best definition of being rich is someone who has access to many resources. Along with my guests on this podcast, I will be bringing you a wide variety of information so that you can make sound and informed financial decisions for your financial future. Hey, if you're recently divorced or still in the middle of it, you already know that life can feel like it's been turned upside down. And let's be honest, the financial part, it's overwhelming, confusing, and often the last thing you want to deal with. That's why I want to tell you about the independent wealth management team at Center for Financial Planning. Their team of certified financial planners specializes in helping people just like you navigate life changes with confidence. Whether it's assessing your new financial circumstances, creating or updating your retirement plan, or helping you adjust to the new normal. They'll work with you to get a clear, customized plan to feel in control and move forward with confidence. So if you're interested in working with a financial planner who you can trust to have your best interests in mind and you're ready to take the next step, visit centerfinplan.com. That's centerfinplan.com and schedule a conversation. Center for Financial Planning, live your plan.

SPEAKER_00:

Disclosure. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc., member FEMBRA, SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Center for Financial Planning, Inc. Center for Financial Planning Inc. is not a registered broker dealer and is independent of Raymond James Financial Services. Center for Financial Planning was a sponsor of the Divorce Rich Podcast. The Center for Financial Planning and Raymond Jaynes are not affiliated with or endorsed by the Divorce Rich Podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

Hi everyone and welcome to the Divorce Rich Podcast. When the divorce is final, many people find themselves suddenly financially independent and faced with a long list of major and minor decisions. I always meet with clients after their divorce to help them create a post-divorce game plan. And if they don't already have a financial advisor, I connect them with one. But what about those people who've never managed money on their own and are afraid of making a mistake? What about the small practical details like switching utilities or transferring accounts? Those can feel overwhelming and sometimes lead to paralysis. That's exactly where my guest today steps in. Helping people move from stuck to confident as they rebuild their financial lives. AIO as in get your affairs in order, which I love the name of that. So welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you, Jackie, for having me. I'm so excited to be on your show today. I love what you do with the podcast and and the work that you do as a CDFA. And I'm really grateful to be here. So thanks.

SPEAKER_03:

Awesome. Thank you. So let's start at the beginning. How did you, how did you get into financial coaching? What was your inspiration? And maybe tell us a little bit about your background with money. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, in my former life, I co-owned and scaled a family business for almost 20 years. And I handled all the financial side of that business from the beginning until my recent departure. Right. And it was a very successful business. And through that process, I gained a deep understanding of financial management and strategic growth. Then in 2022, my life took an unexpected turn and I went through a divorce, which forced me to leave the family business that I had helped to build for so many years. So through the process of divorce and after, I realized how emotional that process can be. But I had a little confidence in knowing that financially I would be okay because I had the knowledge of our entire financial life, whether it was personal or the business. And so that gave me a little bit of confidence. But in the back of my mind, I also knew there's so many people who don't know what I knew. And when the divorce was over and I was, you know, kind of figuring out my new beginning. I thought I wanted to give back. I wanted to help those who don't know what I know and be that support system for them when they're going through a life transition.

SPEAKER_03:

That makes a lot of sense to me. And there is such a big need for that service out there. That why do you think it's so difficult for people who haven't handled the finances to manage that transition to doing it on their own?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, first of all, when the divorce is finalized and the legal part's over, the financial independence begins. And you go from we to me. And in so many instrument instances, that shift can be so overwhelming and emotional for people. So that's kind of where my coaching comes in. I help my clients with the end of the end of divorce checklist is one of the things. And you know how many things have to be done at the end of a divorce, you know, whether it's changing beneficiaries or changing names on accounts, or, you know, anybody who's already overwhelmed with financial tasks, those are the just throw them over the edge. So we can tackle that list together and check the boxes. And then I help them to gain some confidence in managing their money, and which might be a completely new experience for them. We work on saving for the future and addressing all their concerns that come up after a divorce.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. So tell me, I know there's a difference between a financial planner, a financial advisor that manages investments, and a financial coach. But for people that are listening in, can you tell talk a little bit about what the difference is between coaching that you do in terms of helping them become more confident in their in managing their finances versus working with a financial advisor?

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. So as a coach, I meet my clients where they are, emotionally and financially. A lot of times we will work through whatever limiting beliefs they might have and work on budgeting, work on saving, work on setting up, you know, online banking practices, um getting out of debt and helping them with a pay down plan. Where in in where I compliment a financial planner is they don't want to deal with all those little basics, you know, they want to help with the investments. I don't handle the investment side of things. I will just, if I know that they've got some money and don't have it in a high yield savings or investment accounts, I'll I'll recommend them to a financial planner for those types of transactions, but where I kind of meet them more in the beginning stages or just the money management side of things.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. So and again, I think there's such a big need for that because that is something that, you know, I always refer clients to a financial advisor when the divorce is done because I know they need help with managing their investments, but there's a piece missing in between working with someone like me during the divorce and getting over to the financial advisor. And that's where someone with your skills really comes in and helps. And I don't, I don't think that people always recognize that there is a need for that. So a financial advisor usually is not going to help you with your budgeting. Usually they're gonna say to you, how much do you have left over to invest? And they're not gonna, you know, sit down and help with budgeting. They're certainly they can help you with changing beneficiary designations and getting all of the things done. But things like changing the electric bill into your name or changing over the cell phones, those are things that really get people stuck. And if they're feeling overwhelmed, they can't make it to the bigger thing, like who can I manage my money? So I think what you're providing is so essential for many people. And that is um, again, it's it's a a really big piece that's missing.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. Yes. It it is. And, you know, it's it's those basics that sometimes can just be so overwhelming for someone who hasn't managed their money in the past. And and it's it's you know, a lot of times we'll we'll work in the very beginning with mindset and changing the mindset. You know, maybe their former spouse told them they're not good with money, they don't, they don't, they can't manage it because they don't know how. You know, there's so many limiting beliefs that have to be overcome, especially during something as emotional as a divorce. So, you know, we work with re you know, refocusing and addressing those limiting beliefs and change changing them into more empowering beliefs and setting up new skills, new goals, new new confidence and new habits. So that's amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

That's amazing. I have so many of my clients that tell me during the divorce process, I'm really bad with money and I'm working with them and we're looking at their balance sheets and we're talking about really complicated money issues, and they understand it completely. So when I, you know, dig deeper into how are you bad with money, it's you know, but it's it's a common chorus that I hear in my office, you know, constantly is that I'm bad with money. But I find that like you're saying, a lot of it it has to do with confidence and maybe they were told they were bad with money or maybe they're just nervous because they never handled the money. Right. But I think that having the the most important thing is having the information in front of you. Knowing what you spend, being aware of what you spend. So are there there are apps that you recommend that people use, or you work with them to create spending ways to control their spending or file, they're spending in spreadsheets?

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. Well, like I said, I meet them where they are. So if it's somebody who is one that, you know, likes a paper budget, will work, you know, and and write everything down. And I give everyone a binder at the beginning of our very first session. And, you know, we have tabs and we have, you know, their financial statement, their personal financial statement, their budget, if, you know, debt pay down, whatever they need. But if they're a tech savvy person and they want to use an app, we will explore, you know, a few apps that, you know, I might know about and and what works best for them. You know, I have one client who started using an app and it has completely changed her life. Like every time she spends something, she looks at the app and she's like, yep, and categorizes, categorizes it in the right, you know, within her budget and knows on a daily basis where she's at. And that's awesome. It's completely different than she was a year ago. So yeah, it's just like it like you said, it's just being aware. And most people don't know because they're not looking for those tools. So until they need it and and they're looking for it, we find what fits for them and work within however, you know, everybody learns differently. Everybody likes to, you know, keep track of things differently.

SPEAKER_03:

So it must be exciting for you to see them blossom in that way too. Yes, it is a fun job. So a good part of your job is that you're not dealing with the the during the divorce part of the process.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. I can help empower at the end and and and and see see the good changes that come from new beginnings.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. So Angela, do you also work with clients on educating them as far as the finances go? So what is a what is a stock, what is a bond, understanding the difference between retirement accounts and non-retirement accounts.

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. Absolutely. A lot of times we'll go through if they have a 401k at work, there's so many people who just don't even pay attention to what they're invested in. And I'll say, well, let's see where, let's, let's look at it, let's see where you're invested. Let's, you know, see if you want to make any changes. You know, it's just it's bringing that awareness up and and helping them know, you know, what's out there. So many times people have money in a savings account, earning 0.01 interest, and you know, thinking, oh, but it's a savings account. And, you know, we'll research a high yield savings account if there's something that you want, if if you want your money to be in a in a bank and accessible, that emergency fund shouldn't be in just a 0.01% interest bearing account. It should be in a high yield savings account. So we'll research that together. And it's it's amazing to me how many people just don't even know that those things are out there.

SPEAKER_03:

So the resources when you deal with it on a regular basis, you feel like everybody knows it. And so you have to have a certain sensibility, I think, to be able to go and say, well, to go backwards and what your knowledge is and say, okay, not everybody knows this, and to be able to have a certain personality type to work with people and make them feel empowered about learning those things. Do you work now? You're based in Michigan like I am. Do you work with people exclusively in a certain geographic area, or do you work with people in other areas?

SPEAKER_01:

No, we can work, I we can work virtually, or I do have an office space in Gross Point, Michigan that I use, or I can come to the client's home or a place of business. I have some business clients where I go to theirs their offices. I I'm very flexible in where we meet or how we meet.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, fantastic. Now I know you can't use any names, and I don't want you to, but could you share with us, with names removed, a success story of a client that you work with and and how what that looked like from you know the beginning of working with them to where they are now?

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. I have a client who was very successful in her career, but had a husband who managed all the money, was always, you know, just hands off on the money side. And through the divorce process, she realized that that first of all, she didn't have as much as she thought she did because of the way it was being managed. And then after the divorce, we worked together to build up her confidence and comfort with being financially independent. We worked on the checklist, as I mentioned earlier. We worked on setting up savings and a budget that she's has has completely embraced. And in less than a year, she's completely debt-free, has emergency funds set up, and is confidently managing her money now. So she went from being kind of that passive wife and never paying attention to the money details, to being an empowered independent woman. And that type of story is so inspiring for me. So I love it. You too. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

So, okay, one last question. What is, if you could give our listeners a tip, what is one small habit that you think could create a big change for them over time? If they haven't, if they're brand new to managing their money and they haven't made any of the financial decisions and they're fresh out of their divorce?

SPEAKER_01:

I think one small habit that can create change over time is just being aware of your money, is just starting to watch your spending, your savings, your income. You know, awareness is key. So whether it's setting up an app or just looking at your bank account every day and knowing what you're spending your money on, those things bring awareness and they make you think. You know, another little habit is, you know, there's so much, it's so common for people to be online shopping and it's so easy to just click that buy button. So, you know, let it sit for 24 hours before you, you know, push the buy.

SPEAKER_03:

To put it in your shopping cart, but don't necessarily exactly buy now.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah. So it's just like we talked about earlier, too, just being aware. And so many times, especially in a marriage when there's two people and one is just managing it all, and you just, you know, there's that that term ignorance is bliss, and you don't have to f to manage it or think about it. Most women at some point in their lives will be financially responsible for their own lives. So it's really a disservice not to know. That's true.

SPEAKER_03:

It's so true. Even women that are widowed. No, a lot of I've had a lot of family members when they when their spouse passed away, they were completely in the dark about the finances. And when you're already dealing with that grieving process, whether it's for a spouse who's passed away or a divorce, which is also a grieving process, you it's if you it makes it so much more difficult if you were not in the know about the finances. So being able to lean on a financial coach, I think that that's something that everyone in that position should at least have uh some time to consider doing that. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01:

As far as your audience, I've been where your clients are. I have that, you know, I've I've felt that overwhelm and that uncertainty of going through a divorce and and and not knowing what the future is gonna bring. And I just want people to know that, you know, change is possible. And when you start to understand your finances and feel more confident in in your in your life, you'll feel so much more confident in your life. And that's where my financial coaching can help you get there.

SPEAKER_03:

So absolutely. Well, I'm gonna link your contact information in the show notes for this episode and any other information that you want to provide, we'll be happy to link in there as well. And I want to thank you so much for taking your time today to share this really important information with our audience.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here. So, and happy to help wherever I can, whoever I can.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, it's time for our mailbag segment where my son Kevin will host and picks out some special questions from our mailbag to share with listeners.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, welcome to the mailbag segment. Uh, how's it going?

SPEAKER_03:

It's good. How are you doing today, Kat?

SPEAKER_04:

I'm good. Great. Ready to answer some questions. I am ready. Yes. What's the best way to tell if money might be missing? Like if one spouse is hiding accounts or moving money around?

SPEAKER_03:

What is the best way to tell?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So this is a loaded question. Um I I think that a lot of people wonder about this, and sometimes they're wondering about it and there's a reason to wonder, and then other times they're wondering and there is not a reason. So once the divorce case is in the middle of happening, there's usually mandatory disclosure. So what that means is that no matter what state you're in, where once the case is officially filed, each person has to turn over all their financial information. And that would include information on the payroll stubs, for example, and then showing where the money is deposited from the payroll stub into a bank account. So you can request 12 months of statements, 36 months of statements, however far back you think there may be a problem. If they work for someone else and they're not self-employed, they're getting paid on a payroll pay stub. It's difficult to hide where money is going. If you are an employee, you get paid a paycheck. That paycheck we can trace that that's going into a bank account. Now, from there, if one person doesn't have any access to that account, the other person could manipulate where the money is going and they can hide, you know, hide it that way. But that would be one thing to look at is okay, let's take a reality check and see can I track can I trace where all of my spouse's payroll is going. Once we have that under control, then that gives you an idea if you need to do some more digging. And for some people, a good way to figure out if there are hidden assets that you're unaware of is to look at your tax returns, believe it or not. So you can use the tax returns that you and your spouse have filed together over the years to check to see if there are hidden accounts, there are clues on the tax returns. So if you look at Schedule B, for example, or Schedule C, if you see any Schedule B or C income reported on the taxes from an account that you didn't know about, then you can ask that question. Hey, I noticed that we got we had to pay taxes on dividends from Vanguard last year. I have no idea that we had a Vanguard account that could prompt some questions. So looking through the tax returns can give you some clues about assets. Um, worst case scenario, if let's say your spouse is self-employed and there's all kinds of opportunity to hide money in that situation. In those kinds of cases, you may or may not have a business appraiser that you've hired that is coming in and um going to analyze the money in and out of the business. And that would be a person that's also going to help you figure out if there's hidden money. If you don't have that, you can always hire a forensic accountant. So someone who's specifically trained to go back through and audit all your old statements and try to trace where the money was, follow that money trail. So there are a lot of places to look. I just I always hesitate um to tell people to go full force forward with spending a lot of money on experts unless you're pretty confident that there is something hidden.

SPEAKER_04:

All right. Our next question. I've been divorced for a few months and keep getting medical bills from before the divorce. Who's supposed to pay those?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh, that's a great question. Yeah. Uh I have this right now with a couple clients that are calling me to ask me this question. So um, I say this all the time, but this is an example of when this is really true. You should never put your divorce decree very far away from where you are at in the first year of your divorce because you're going to be pulling that divorce decree out again and again and again to see, hey, what did we agree about this thing? I don't remember this or this detail. Because when you're finalizing the divorce, you just want to be done. And so a lot of details get put into that final decree that you maybe didn't absorb into your, you know, your mental process at the time. So, number one, you're getting medical bills. Look back and at your judgment of divorce or your settlement agreement and see when the status quo ended. Most settlements will say when the status quo ended. And if the status quo ended before the bill was incurred, then that is probably going to go back to however the status quo was being handled. If it was being handled through joint accounts, through your spouse paying for everything through the end of the status quo, then you know that that's where it's supposed to go. Now, logistically, how are you going to get them to pay after the divorce? Well, that is another question for another mailbag. But just in terms of figuring out what was supposed to happen, let's say that your settlement agreement isn't clear on that and it doesn't really say who pays what. Um, I think a good general rule of thumb is that if the medical bill was incurred during the marriage, it should somehow be taken into consideration in the overall settlement of your assets or in how the status quo was being handled while the case was pending. Um so if unfortunately, it might necessitate a call to your attorney to see what they think in terms of who's responsible. And then how do you get paid back?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Makes sense. All right. Our final question of the segment. I told myself I'd make a budget after the divorce. Does it count if it's just in my head and mostly based on vibes?

SPEAKER_03:

No. But you know, you're asking a numbers person that question. So, you know, I'm all about the numbers. And it when it comes down to anything related to the divorce, I treat everything from a very practical, number-oriented perspective. So having vibes of how you feel, you might be spending your money. We all do that. Everybody does that. This is an opportunity now that the divorce is over for you to do something different, for you to actually get control by learning what you're spending your money on. And so I highly recommend that either you get a hold of an app where you can track your expenses, you use just an old-fashioned spreadsheet. I've got a budget worksheet that is always available on my website, wrestler divorceconsulting.com, and you can go there and download my budget worksheet. This is an opportunity for you to get a handle on what you're spending your money on. And do you know why that matters?

SPEAKER_04:

Why does it matter?

SPEAKER_03:

It matters because knowing what you spend your money on gives you more choices. So if I'm not tracking what I'm spending my money on and I'm just buying, let's say, I'm buying$10 lattes every day and I don't think about it, and I just spend that money or I use DoorDash every day and I don't think about it. It just makes my life easier. And I don't think about how that adds up. Well, if I take the end of the month and I go back and I see, look, I spent$300 this month on those kinds of expenses. I would rather spend$300 a month on travel, or I would rather spend$300 a month to take my kids to a special event. Now, if I am conscious about what I'm spending, then that gives me the opportunity to say, you know what? I'm not gonna door dash. I'm gonna cook this week because it's more important to me that I go to this special event with my kid. So that's why again, I say that having the numbers written down somewhere, even if you know if it's in an app, on a spreadsheet, on paper, it puts you in the driver's seat. It gives you control to make decisions about how you want to spend your money.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Makes sense. All right. I think that will be it for our mailbag segment for today. Uh please continue to keep sending your questions in to divorcerichpod at gmail.com. We love getting the chance to uh hear from you about what you're uh worried about uh upcoming divorce.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to listen to Divorce Rich Podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

If you like this podcast, please follow us on Apple or anywhere that you download podcasts and share this link with any friends or family that you think might benefit from this picture.

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Jacki Roessler, CDFA

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